I’m trying with every thing inside myself to not lose it. I’m struggling to not fall into the cycle I have been in before. I don’t want to curse you because if I place negativity upon you I will only get it back and it will be worse for me. It already is worse for me, but I’m trying not to focus on that fact. I’m trying to see this ending on a positive note for my future. I’m trying.

I’m having a fucking incredibly hard time with all this trying. If I lose it, I’m sorry, but I am hopeful I will never have to be in this position regarding this matter ever again.